Archive for the ‘Parody’ Category
Greed attracts Greed
Prince Charles goes into hiding, Buckingham Palace shuts down London, Tower of London holding cell open for business, battle ships HMS Queen Elizabeth and King George surround Bahrain to save the Duke of York from further heartbreak
Queen Elizabeth caught in a video sting as she shakes ( gloves off) the hands of a criminal, after closing the deal. The imposer, Mazhit-Manky-Mahamood is captured, drawn and quartered. His guts are fed to the hogs
The Queen counting the tabloid newspaper Crown notes for selling everything on Fergie at a value of 30P, Evening Edition. MI6 gives Her Majesty the scoop, were she was conceived. Between a horse and ox, in a padlock during a 2pm feeding , the act took some time to figure out the logistics of which mare was open to mate..
In a fit of rage, Her Majesty rips apart the dough and destroys her prized rose garden, she will not attend the execution
The Queen overcome by shame , Her Majesty collapses, the Duch-less of York has ended her love
Fergie: “It is true that my financial situation is under stress. However, that is not an excuse for my serious lapse in greed and I am very sorry that this has happened to me and that my mother in law’s portrait on theses Bank notes will remind me that I still love seeing her 500,000 times in this way.”
News of the World; Does York suffer from a gambling habit? what her interview on Oprah on Tuesday who pays her $$$ to spills her dilemma. The Queen will be watching, deciding whether to condemn Oprah as an instigator of embarrassing her family further.
Sabasbation Johneau: “You know Maestro Carl, I had to sleep with the curator to get this frame, I hope you happy because it felt so good for the first time since you’ve been seeing me, now get that Modigliani off the wall, don’t you see those Coco Channel decorative nails have ruined our bedroom decor”
Carl Latherhair; “Carta ragazzo came here, kneel , what have I told you about boasting, all I asked you is if you deliver the newspaper weekly at 12am and if it was ok for you to sleep over and how can yo say I’m dating you now? Where’s the penthouse Carta ragazzo, you don’t expect me to visit you in one of your shared bunkers, “whack ”
1. A Collector
2. A fool
3. One of forty forgeries out there
4. 50% off the value of the stolen painting
5. The gallery
In the later study of Eric Williams, I encountered many inconsistencies, and felt frustrated as if my mocking had hurt, but it was understandable clear that his vision never persuaded me to think otherwise, his love for this nation.
In the feinin; “We know that islands such as ours are in limbo. We share the same dreams of Nations much older and grander than ours. Please spend time building, working in harmony. Solve no ones problems but your own.. King, dream, united people, infant stage, money woes, marriage”
Dem small snake grow large and playing vicious now when I breed dem meh best in de Heliconia plant. Is time to sharpen meh cutlass blade and cut off dem head before dem tree bite and poison meh dead like ah Mah pih pee. Look how dem suffocate de fruit tree…..
Ladies and gentlemen, DEM SNAKE TOPPLING MEH HIGH CHAIR, DAUGHTER ERICA COME RESCUE MEH PLEASE BEFORE I BUST MEH HEAD AND DEM MAKE AH DISPLAY CAST OF IT MAKING MEH LOOK LIKE AH FOOL
ERICA in the distance; ” Daddy, daddy remember when you always got to say at the finest hotels in London and those world class cigar houses , daddy, daddy remember.
Eric; “ERICA WHY DON’T YOU KEEP YUH FOCKING BIG MOUTH SHUT, BEFORE YOU SPILL WHERE WE STASH DE MONEY. WHEN IS MY TIME, YUH BETTER NOT FOIL UP DE SUSPENSE TO KEEP MEH NAME IN HISTORY, NOW GO MAKE TWO SALA ROTI FOR MEH, I FEELING FOR CURRY.”
The Trinandad + Timetogo Flime Festival, 2010
Ah Chris star far Cosy eh imposer at the official Poster festival launch
Flime maker Chris star far Cosy eh released to the public, the official poster of the Trinandad + Timetogo Flime Festival, 2010. Cosy eh maco de girls at unsaintly Judas school for de elite. Threw ah window, he witness de blackest offcast with bright eye. Boldface as usual, he unannounce heself as ah Flime maker to de spinster, catching de Maddar jorting down two High High never Low Rosary fowl.
Maddar French Creole/mixed/Chinese break for to back door tinking is dem who come for she over de ah bustive reports from dem all who des brush in secret from Rome….After praying and expelling she sins, to de (ah go get yuh went yuh reach), de lawld say, ” You my child refuse to obey me, flush de toilet and watch yuh hands”
Like ah Rubaducky Victor politician, Cosy eh confuse de Maddar one time, citing de scripture wit words she never hear, ah example,”I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; Eh, de woman bawl, you is ah pretending Muslim?
Cosy eh, “Red, well developed, busty, solid, thick get deported to Canada, too much nationality, eh better jump de gate and escape from dat zammie just behind yuh” Head Nun, French Creole/mixed/Chinese, “Very dark Black dough let dat brown skin wit ah crutch corrupt yuh poom poom, dat is mine, remember…..I bless it since yuh young”
Taximan douglarish mix, a good-looking hustler, and a wheeler dealer, ” Very dark black, let we suck tongue nah, and dough close yuh leg like Bible, meh totee fighting to get in. Chris star far Cosy eh fliming ah blues. Ah breaking, use meh Ponds napkin to wipe up de blood clot from meh seat”
Muscular and tough, “French Creole/mixed/chinese yuh could squeeze in dis male whorehouse client, 40s, fat, big-bellied? ” French Creole/mixed/Chinese, “Is two night shift I already take, Very dark black could cover meh dis time…”
Pinkie, Indian, married to a farmer. She has a young baby, “Dem filmmaker rightous see I star spiffing me fresh herb infront of imposters, Jamaica I born. jah Jamaica breed when parent travel dem India sea to me bless soil wit blue mountain snow, when dem clot in Trinadad dismiss dem selves, as one, unite I stand Jamaica queen. Jamaica twin sister Tobago fighting zealous bloodclots who dere rape dem pride …..Jah Tobago Jah, no sister no cry”
a hardworking young farmer, ” Pinkie trap meh and she faddar give we ah cutlass wedding, I glad I not stereotype to be ah Indian cause I is ah hardworking farmer, and eh like dem who catch de niggeritis CPEP fever to reap road weed. Now I force to brush wit meh wife friend, Red, well developed (busty,) solid thick, dem Canada export she back in as lree trade import”
The star characters
It should be noted that these character stereotypes are based on the actual cast call for a film to be produced in Trinidad by Frances-Anne Solomon and Oonya Kempadoo, and aptly for the Trinidad and Tobago Film Festival, 2010. The poster artist selected for the festival this year is Christopher Cozier
A Bobo Shantis selling Haile Selassie I nuts on de road
Ras, dis Lady Hochoy ” Special” baked nuts salty and sweet nice make from God’s retarded children in all he glory from dem bad-mind parent who make dem so. Eh, ras, bumbaclot, ah ask yuh to clean meh windshield wit yuh hairnet?”
What to look for
1. A busy six lain highway
2. A well groomed man covering his rasta with a wrap
3. Bags of nuts and cashews
As I was doing this study, a man came to gate selling pies and drinks from a larger cooler which he carried on a hand trolley. With another work, the Jehovah Witness came canvasing, I could not move, as my face was covered iwith black paint
What to look for:
1. A collapsible table
2. A flambeaux
3. A dirty table cloth
4. A mixture of condiments in unmarked bottles, cut limes, salt, pepper and a glass
5. Oyster shells that have been clean using a large knife
6. A paint bucket containing water
7. A dirty rag that is used to wipe the table clean
8. The vendor of Indian stock, wearing heavy rings and a gold watch,
9. The Koran
Gim meh ten more wit slight pepper and plenty mango…..Let meh see, Mavis say she want two, witout, Paula beg meh to buy she four, one for she popo belly, Bobesingh say is six wil kuchela, and plenty pepper, he bamsee go dead later, I looking for four, slight, full wit cucumber, and oh fadar, dem lazy staff who have meh slaving and getting big boof from de line as if I break biche, want twenty wit every-ting…
What does a Doubles vendor look like?
1. The Doubles vendor* and his cart, generally he** stands on a box with a sign to the front.
2. The cart contains a bucket of channa and the bharra. There is a shelf where the condiments are placed, namely, pickled cucumbers, kuchela, mango and pepper.
3. Customers who eat doubles on the spot, like this fire brigade character. And then there are business men who carry a list. (This is a real occurrence, queues are long)
4. The doubles collector who manages the money. He may carry a conversion chart to make calculating easier. Here, I have a pencil at his ear, and wearing a dog chain. What’s missing are expensive shoes.
5. The cooler provides beverages, and a small tank (not shown) is used to dispense water.
* I also included a hairnet, food badge and a pale which contains the channa. The attaché case had a roll of toilet paper as well as bags of doubles, it was to supplement the paper napkins.
** “Pa when I grow up, I too is becoming ah Doubles man like ma”, this was said after the little girl consumed a fresh doubles at the University of the West Indies, they are considered the best on the island.