Archive for the ‘Classic Advertising’ Tag

Marion Crane’s last Trinidad Orange Juice gulp

If it’s Citrus Growers Association Orange Juice, I drinking it with ants

Ah catch yuh wit meh juice

From the kitchen…

Marion ah tell yuh ah having friends over. Is long time since we host like dem fete days every weekend. Now people fraid to go out after 3pm. Is you have to serve dem in yuh Best Village dance de belle costume, and mix meh favorite, de best, Co-operative Citrus Growers Association Orange Juice. Is only one tin remain. Remember is plenty tap water to add to make it stretch. Wait, is you singing he tune so,

From the shower…

Listen to the heart, am so alone, honey, brother bring me a phone, Hello, I giving back to you, I changing your ways, if only you believe, am your lover, like your brother…

The shower curtain confrontation…

Marion ah catch yuh wit meh juice tin, dough tell my yuh drorts meh Trinidad Orange? Meh party guest just arrive, is what now, Matouk Mauby to stir and serve Detective Milton Arbogast, Sam Loomis, Sheriff Al Chambers, Tom Cassidy, Caroline and California Charlie. Is big star I invite after I sweat all day making grave, and now ah have to make shovel for one more.

Norman, is I buy dis separate, you must be Psycho putting on yuh mudder old dress and pretending to be a flim star. Yuh looking for man oh what? I see yuh pose on de bookmann naked, looking same way as yuh come pop out yuh mudder hole, and bawl before de doctor slap yuh. Yuh ain’t shame?

Marion, I find you farse wit yuh self, you just jealous over I, Yuh better leave some drops so I ca say is Orchard Orange Drink ah serving, and fool dem all.

Addendum: To truly scare an audience, Alfred Hitchcock believed that secrecy over a plot should motive the audience in suspense. Psycho had its moments, Janet Leigh’s scream sent chills, I beg to differ

Note: A wife’s tail. When diluting a fruit drink, alway add the main ingredient first. Juice + water, never water + juice

Teet and Skin – Colgate and Carbolic Soap


Feinin badeing under a stand pipe, Port of Spain

Wha happen, you is a buller watching meh bade in yuh fancy Toyota Hilux. I know I have only trolley to carry cardboard box and fruits at de market, but I ain’t sweating to pay for it like you who feel yuh big in oui capital, driving Big Company car or Government vehicle yuh don’t own or respect. You spending all yuh money in gym pumping iron all day and yuh still eying meh natural body because I does walk all day to pick up all de Carib bottle after you, when you yuh self does pelt dem out yuh air condition truck.

Lady, dough strain yuh neck, it quail up in meh draws, but it clean with Carbolic Soap. Look you, yuh watching meh with yuh eye straight nearly bounce dat old Datsun 120y in front of yeh. I saving up for Courts Repossess two tub washer so dough mind I does wash meh clothes under de pipe with Breeze and Colgate have meh teet and gold cap white and shinny ever since I stop sucking all dat guava sweet and kaser ball in Primary school.

Is here I staying dees days, meh granny bring me up proper, I love she till she dead. Is dem whatless Junior Sec dat teach meh how to survive and cable and deportee show meh de way. ” Hello Rosaline, I is away for a fortnight, when I see yuh, I’ll show you what I learn, de mis and jook in de caca”

Vaseline Oil + Curry

Feinin going to a San Fernando chutney fete with slick down hair with oil. Which one better? Coconut or Vaseline?

Hello, Pandey, yuh have meh waiting in dis dark cane field, yuh know I does frighten because meh cousin Sisodiya tell meh dey have plenty Soucouyant and I eh want to get suck unless is you sucking meh neck and between meh nanny. Ah wash it with carbolic soap this time, we ca both have curry mouth staining we skin. Make sure yuh bring back meh fada record and de cassette yeh promise to make. Ah plat meh hair in a bun to fool meh fada, as if I going to night prayers and go bring meh light foundation to over up de love mark. Bring two hot Guinness just incase I ca wash it out by de river…”

Singampalli, daling, ah just rub down meh dashboard with Mayaro coconut oil wit a dab of Vaseline. It go make you feel like country in meh Datsun 120y. I better put some good pressure in de back tire, all ten of meh partners, Biglip, Saltfishmouth, Hen, Japblade, Runninglatrine, Pitchlakebroda and more have to fit in de back.have to fit in de back.

Oh Shiva, I forget to hide meh treasures in de car, Singampalli yuh lock up de windows tight? Vaseline Petroleum Jelly, Queen the works album among other memorabilia in a Datsun 120y

Horn Food – Libby’s

Feinin cooking Libby’s Horn Food

Oh gorm, Rosaline, yuh season de pot well wit Maggi, It making feel to meh to brush yuh double. You talk wit yuh gold teet self, I tell yuh to buy Libby’s with Montreal smoked Pork flavor Corned Beef. Yuh know George does fret after holding bandit like you all day, night, morning, evening, Christmas and Eid. He want he favourite dish with slice tomato and cucumber like always, tree times a week. It nearly six o’clock now and Four Roads just up de road. Yuh know he have siren horn to pass all dat traffic and sometime he does get drop wit blimp or helicopter when dey have no vehicle.

Yuh done finish yet? Pull up meh pantie nah. Now, ah have to finish cook, spray the bedroom with black disinfectant to kill out yuh smell and untie de twenty rottweiler. Bring dat quail up cabbage yuh tell meh yuh tief in de Central Market last time, and scale de wall close to de neighbour kitchen side, dem so does maco yes. Jahmaddin, Jahmaddin, where de key, where de key to open de Corn Beef?, Oh fada Muslim, why you and Deportee does forgot to pick one wit it

Addendum: In Trinidad sayings, Corn beef is termed as a meal which can be prepared very quickly, making quite apt as to be called Horn Food.

Ah get a free flight home oui

Deportee pertaining to Nationals that are deported. They generally can be distinguished by their thick North  American accent and work in places such a gas stations, groceries or left roaming on the streets

Horn: Adultery