Archive for the ‘Project Runway 7’ Tag

Tim’s secret designer Elmo – Project Runway 7

The Elmo  K Mart  Clearance Collection

Tim: ” Elmo, surprise, it me honey”

Emilio: “Tim, Tim, did anyone see you? (They embrace) its been over four months Tim homely, how’s my (white johnson)hanging?”

Tim:Heidi wants us to go to Walt Disney Park as the gayest couple, the first for Runway Project.”

Emilio: “That German hoe can’t keep her mouth shut, rumors are she’s going to chose parakeet Jay over that bisexual hybrid dominatrix Meanla.”

Tim: “Lets clear it up Elmo to all the TV land fools out here that our animosity against each other is none of anyone business but Heidi’s. You fell in love with me after I allowed our two extended hours on the burlap challenge to beat Ping’s classic look with a hands on all over your bod, baby critique to what those three drunks are looking for like me inspecting  your Harlem booty. “

Tim: “Emilio, let me give you a little education, carry this as your brand and the entire World would be laughing at you, common sense tells me, its over…

Emilio: “I don’t care what they think Tim homey, everyone is extremely jealous, I have first hand experience, yet exposing those vocal aired love squabbles helped us both, I was so hot then that I urinated on myself, but I did not see any mess over my fabric, I wonder who licked it up?”

Fascist Elmo, where is your secret lover?

Tim: “Do what you ever want with me Elmo, I really don’t see you facing all those people when your models get a fright over your collection, bets now it’s all over with our relationship, and you darling, and all your fascism will be in the recycle bin exported as land fill…”

After Project Runway 7

Anthony’s big blue condom gown

Anthony’s elegance look

Project Runway 7

Seth :
Michael: ‘Is this Jiminy Cricket from Walt Disney, and that model you have, who the fuck is she and what modern woman like me would have so many pants suits in my closet?”

Heidi: ” Micheal, I think its time to take away his stud gun.”

Seth: ” I want my Valeria back

Cynthia: “Any common sense person would wear your dress without looking like a clown. Look at them all, do you think Heidi would be caught dead in one besides yours? “

Anthony: “Thank you Cynthia, Michael thinks my dress looks like a big blue condom, something tells me that his papa used one, Anthony bets it was super small and slipped off somewhere smelly and scary ….. I’ll never venture into. And granted you gave me $300 dollars, but Girl, I need some extra, sorry times are hard, why spend all that on raw silk for a one time wear? Would you rather drive here in a MAN MADE Benzs or go all natural on a donkey and cart?.”

Heidi: “Absolutely Ricky Ricardo, Lucy would be so proud.” (In the many attempts to parody Emilio, I found myself soulless)

Emilio: “To answer your question Heidi since you did not asked me directly, I’ll like to take you and Micheal to Walt Disney Park, Nina taste in fashion is a snooze, I think chewing all those coca leaves as a child has affected her sense and sensibility to understand clothing.”

Nina: “I love the Snow White look, lets talk after the show, there are a few alterations to be made. Why should Heidi covet the red carpet ” Worst Dress List” four times running, I want to have the honour this time.”

Michael: ” And its so one-dimensional like you Nina”

Mila: “Why do men, Michael get all the attention…..oh, you’ve one of those fairy things..(she clears her throat) sorry..(then addresses Heidi) I don’t see Emilio wearing his four winning dresses up his ass, at least I wear what I make, not like that soul Greek cap he pretends to be the Know and Know all. Well you’re a loser Emilio, ( tapping him on the shoulder with a yard stick) and why in God’s name would your parents name you after a muppet, Emilio, Elmo, you see any difference? ( She turns to Jay) And why Jay did he not pick me? Why the Big tears, are you sleeping with Anthony again when I saved your fucking ass in the St. Marks look challenge?”

Coco Chanel

You can’t understand fashion if you are told what it entails, glamor need not follow the footsteps after me, for the sake of looking your best, art caps it all *

* This brings an end of myself parodying a woman

Jonathan’s drapery dress – Runway Project 7

Ping sets standards – Curtain boobs wraps are in

Top boobs model at Merci des Benz show room, Frankfurt, Germany

Red carpet Heidi 360º look; ” I’m dropping that Emilio / Jesus / dress for this short sexy one by Jonathan, Brandice should see that having “big” boobs makes all the difference. My husband, Scar has his “big” down there, at times I can’t even walk straight in any dress. ”

Runway Project – Mila’s Pocahontas dress

If fools you think, fools we’re not

Mode style the latest glamour for the 1920’s

Brandice, ” this dress is something I’ve always wanted” designed by Mila

Brandice, “This is so much better than nearly tripping in that dress before.” Low Model walks to the centre of the catwalk, disrobes and assembles an Indian tent. A first for Project runway

Judges of Runway Project episode 10, Heidi Klum and Michelle Barack Obama

Barack: “Heidi Heidi Hoe, Sister Franklin lent Prez super Air force 1 fly her Jemima bow head tie, I’m kicking with you honey tonight , lets see some chain fence twat on that upscale catwalk…”

Emergency phone: ” Yes babes, I borrowed your shawl from your prized Jacqueline K closet. Is the country running OK? Is there anything more, cause you’re holding up my nuke, guess whose next line…”

Barack: ” I think Mila’s dress could be winter covers for NASA’s space shuttle rocket boosters”

Heidi: I like that Brandice took the initiative to carry a spare scissor to cut herself out of that dress”

Project Runway – If Mila and Ping reunited

April issue after Ping Wu fashion

Ping after Mila look

Project Runway with Feinin, ” I’m me, I use to think I was you, but, now I’m me, that’s why I straighten my hair to look like you.” Heidi, Heidi Heidi Hoe, yuh better eh say Auf Wiedersehen to meh in yuh tweeter voice wit false teet grin, I far have morals, meh eh auf meh brassiere like you in de sea.

Ping: ” Its all my idea Mila, I think its just gorgeous as the fabric drapes over the model’s body like a burlap rice bag in a classical way. I love the hat, its funky, hee hee,”

Milia: ” Ping, Ping, Ping! Is that a door bell. Hello, is anyone there who can sew like me, and look at my signature scarfs and jacket, its unique, just like Seth’s black leather pants suits. Feinin has such strong features, Brandise should be a little concerned, I am so not so loyal in picking her again. “

Tim: “Girls, girls tell me what happening here, who’s the catty one?”

Ping: ” You see Tim, this time the fabric loops around the waist , and covers up the buttocks, testis and phallus.”

Feinin: “”Tim, she kept giggling when she checked which way it hung, I told her to stop after four or five hand fitting. She just does not listen, I think she should be deported, anyway I decided to borrow Brandise’s under garment to cover myself up.

Milia:” Tim, I am using my brilliant signature chest board pattern, no one here has the ability to see what I am really doing, that is muted colour blocking. I can see no one too can design or sew as good as me. Hey Tim, don’t touch my Brother sewing machine.”

Tim: “Girls, girls I really don’t like it at all, really, it tiresome Ping…good work team leader Mila.”

The judging:

Nina: “There is something unique here, I love the sack look, I like that feinin can reach into Brandise’s signature look and pocket, but I question the bee mask, I was expecting a smoke can. This is backward thinking fashion.”

Michael: “For God sake, that’s about one hundred years ago. this art deco, the romanticism wig look is history, and remember Feinin is allergic to hairnetting, is that head piece toxic foam, Ping is stepping out of her 1920’s to a mode, sleek modem look, Feinin pulled it off beautifully, I think its rice paddy couture.”

Heidi: ” I like how Feinin carried this look, I also love the two piece farmer brown bodice and skirt. I could see myself in it on the cover of marie claire once I cut away Mila’s unconventional black and white pattern flaps, must we all bear this again?”

Guest Madonna: ” Who did the sewing here, it looks like Ping took control, it is darned so well, I love to see it as a label”

Of course this is a parody from the television show Project Runway, So I decided to make a dress using cloth and crocus bag secured with safety pins and masking tape.